Was It You? Did You Write This Pathetic Email?

I don’t know about you, but I am so sick of getting pathetic sales emails in my inbox. I just don’t understand why people keep sending them. I wonder, do they get any results from these sad, sad emails? I guess they must, or they wouldn’t send them.

I look at sales management and wonder, “Do you know your salespeople are sending out emails like this? Do you measure the results? What are you doing to improve this situation?”

Imagine a world in which sales and marketing teams collaborated to send great emails. It would be a dream come true. Sales managers, I am looking at you! What are you doing to prevent those pathetic emails from landing in my inbox?

This email I received a few months ago was so pathetic that I decided to help the guy out. I spent 30 minutes writing suggestions, which I sent to him and decided to share those with you. While I’m not an expert at this, I am better than most. If you want to improve your messaging, my example can help. But, if you really want to learn how to send great emails, I recommend you contact a real expert, my friend Heather Morgan, founder of SalesFolk. Keep in mind that there are many schools of thought on cold sales emails and more than one way to do this and get results. Bottom line, don’t let your salespeople send pathetic emails!

Read It And Weep!

Here is the text of the two original emails I received from “Jim,” word for word. I changed his name, his company’s name and the name of the infographic to protect the guilty but I did not change the content.

EMAIL 1

From: Jim Tim [mailto:jim.tim@bademail.com]

Sent: Wednesday, November 30, 2016

To: Alice Heiman <alice@aliceh2.sg-host.com>

Subject: Quick Idea Alice

Hi Alice,

Sorry to interrupt you.

We just created a new infographic “Best Social Media Infographic Ever”, we noticed you are covering such topics quite a bit.

Social Media Today said, “This new infographic provides plenty of information for even the most knowledgeable marketer or social business to digest.”

Perhaps it could be a great fit for your audience’s interests. Would you mind it your for a quick review?

Best,

Jim Tim

Community Manager | Editorial Contributor

If you don’t want to hear from me again, please let me know.

EMAIL 2

From: Jim Tim [mailto:jim.tim@bademail.com]

Sent: Friday, December 2, 2016

To: Alice Heiman <alice@aliceh2.sg-host.com>

Subject: Re: Quick Referral Alice

Hi Alice,

I’m sorry to trouble you.

I was hoping you would you be so kind as to tell me who is responsible for publishing news and blog content and how I might get in touch with them?

I sent the below email a few days ago and wanted to make sure it’s going to the right person.

Thanks in advance for your help!

Best,

Jim

(Below this he included the original email he sent to me three days earlier)

Help Provided

I decided to send him a very nice note and offer some help. I resisted being mean and snarky like I wanted to be. Despite that, I haven’t heard back from him. I can’t say I am surprised.

My notes to him on how to improve his emails are below in blue, and my suggested rewrites are in green.

EMAIL 1

From: Jim Tim [mailto:jim.tim@bademail.com]

To: Alice Heiman <alice@aliceh2.sg-host.com>

Subject: Quick Idea Alice

Subject: Are You Looking For Great Content For Your Blog? (This would get my attention.)

Hi Alice,

I’m sorry to interrupt you. (In sales, always start out positively.)

You don’t know me yet, but I know a lot of sales consultants like you are looking for great content for your blog. If you are like the others I have talked to, you like great guest posts from time to time because it is a lot of work to pump out great content.

We just created a new infographic “Best Social Media Infographic Ever”, we noticed you are covering such topics quite a bit. (At least part of this sentence is about me, although it shows me you know nothing about me.)

I noticed you sometimes write about social media and I have an infographic that has tons of great stats that will be a draw for your blog. It’s called “Best Social Media Infographic Ever.”

Social Media Today said, “This new infographic provides plenty of information for even the most knowledgeable marketer or social business to digest.” (Good source to quote.)

Perhaps it could be a great fit for your audience’s interests. Would you mind it your for a quick review? (This sentence is missing a word. And, why on earth would I read it? Give me a reason.)

Here’s the link to take a quick look. If you like it, let me know, and all we require is for you to link back to our site www.companyname.com. We are looking for people like you to connect with because we are a new company and want to get the word out.

I completely understand if you don’t want to hear from me again, please let me know.

Best,

Jim

————————————————————-

Jim Tim (What company are you with?? I can discern from your email address that it is www.companyname.com but most people won’t try that hard. Add your company name and address to your signature.)

Company Name

www.companyname.com

Community Manager | Editorial Contributor

EMAIL 2

From: Jim Tim [mailto:jim.tim@bademail.com]

To: Alice Heiman <alice@aliceh2.sg-host.com>

Subject: Quick Referral Alice (Why would I give you a referral, I don’t know you?)

Subject: Infographic That Will Get You More Readers

Hi Alice,

I’m sorry to trouble you. (Then don’t. In sales, always begin positively.) I was hoping (Hope is not a strategy, and it’s pathetic.) you would you be so kind as to tell me who is responsible for publishing news and blog content and how I might get in touch with them? (Why would I tell you? I don’t know you. Luckily for you, people are looking for content. So, some may refer you if they get past the first sentence.)

I know you are super busy, but I also know that you would probably love a guest post that will draw traffic to your blog.

I sent the below email a few days ago and wanted to make sure it’s going to the right person. (Persistence is excellent, but reminding me that I didn’t answer your email isn’t. Give me something interesting.)

In case you didn’t have time to read my last email, here is the link to a fact-filled infographic that will blow your readers away with info they can use to up their social media game.

I’m the community manager for a new company called www.companyname.com. We prevent companies from wasting money on web designers who can’t do what they said they would. If you are interested, www.companyname.com is our site. I’d love to hear your thoughts on our idea. Do you think it will fly?

Thanks in advance for your help! (That’s the most positive thing you’ve said.)

And if you’d like to use the infographic, just let me know, and I’ll organize it for you.

Best,

Jim

 

————————————————————-

Jim Tim

Company Name

www.companyname.com

Community Manager | Editorial Contributor

What Can You Do?

Obviously, don’t let your salespeople send out poorly written emails that prove they know nothing about the prospect and show they couldn’t care less. Instead, work with your team to write emails that will get your prospect’s attention and sound like they came from humans who care. The idea is to generate qualified leads from your cold emails, not cause people to hit the delete key.

Here are a few steps you can take to improve the content of your team’s emails and get prospects interested. But, please, read up on this topic and get help from your marketing team if you have one.

1. Develop buyer personas for each type of prospect you plan to email.
2. Develop messages for each persona. Do some research into industry trends that impact your prospects and could be helped by your product or service.
3. Come up with four distinctly different ideas that you know will influence each type of prospect. If one doesn’t get their attention, the other three might. Find ideas that matter to the prospect and that show you understand their world.
4. Craft four distinct messages using those ideas. Do not try to sell. Generate interest so that they will take an appointment with you.
5. Before you launch a huge email campaign, try out the emails on a segment of the list. Based on the response, revisit the messaging before sending to the entire list.
6. Don’t stick with something that isn’t getting any replies or is prompting a very weak response rate. Revise as you go. You can do some A/B testing.
7. Get help. Either become an expert yourself or hire one. Why settle for a 2% response rate or less, when you could be getting 20%?

Note: Experts say it takes 8 to 12 attempts to reach someone these days. But, I believe some of those touches can be made via social media or phone to compliment your email outreach.

P.S. I never heard from this sales rep or company again. I’d like to believe he used what I shared and is now sending emails that get a response.

If you need help with lead generation, there are plenty of ways to do it besides sending crappy, cold emails. Please schedule time with me to discuss lead generation, and I will be happy to provide the resources you need or point you in the right direction.